Life with Abigail

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Huh! Who would have thunk?

Do you realize that in the last 12 months (well technically 11 to be exact, since we are still in October with no news of referrals) the CCAA has only managed to get through 3 months worth of referrals for families logged in?

I didn't! I decided that since we are getting close to the beginning of a new month and the possibility of referrals being released, I wanted to know some history and this is what I found:

So to give you perspective, we must go back a little bit to early 2005. From 3-17-05 to 10-3-05 the CCAA referred LID's from 9-16-04 to 3-15-05 which broken down means it took them 7 months to match 6 months worth of LID's. So then from 11-10-05 to 11-02-06 CCAA referred LID's from 3-31-05 to 8-25-05, which broken down means it took them 12 months to match 5 1/2 months worth of LID's. Oh it gets better. Then from 11-2-06 to 10-2-07 (11 months) CCAA referred LID's from 8-25-05 to 11-30-05, which broken down means it took them 11 months to match a little over 3 months worth of LID's. AND if you look at it overall over the past 2 years 11-10-05 to 10-02-07 , it took them 23 months to match a little over 8 1/2 months worth of LID's.

Kinda spooky huh? Who would have thunk we were REALLY on the slow boat to China!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

What's Behind Door No. 21?

21 long months of waiting for our referral of course.
I was a little dis-enchanted with what I could find in reference with the number 21. From legal drinking age, legal gambling & selling of one's self to another in certain states to the ability to buy a handgun, I thought I would come up with 21 things I look forward to experiencing with my daughter

Fountain ponytails on top of her head ~ now as teenager's my boys think this is fun, but it's just not the same
snuggles early morning in bed ~ doesn't quite seem like 'snuggles' when your kids are bigger than you are and manage to snuggle you right out of bed
wet slobbery kisses~ I guess I need to specify 'baby' wet slobbery kisses
big beautiful brown eyes ~ I was blessed to have 2 of my boys with these. What can I say, I can't get enough
many "I wuv you's" ~ though heard on occasion from the teens, you can't beat it when it comes from a bright-eyed little cutie-pie
tipsy turvy of a toddler's walk ~ my boys do this as teenager's but it's not the same when their BIG feet step on yours in the path
cuddling in my rocking chair ~ 5 ft. 7in, 138 lbs (my oldest), need I say more
watching her with her Daddy ~ this one stands on its own
sitting on my lap eating Cheerios while I type my blog ~ re-read # 7
watching her be loved on by her big brothers ~ there are so many little children that my boys love on and what a joy it is to watch
grippy-tight hugs around my neck ~ and I don't mean head locks, neck locks, choke hold (wrestling moves done by my boys)
PINK ~ I just need more
singing lullaby's to sleep~ I don't think Reliant K, Switchfoot, Thousand Foot Krutch count
stroller rides in the park ~ as opposed to stroller races
clean smell of freshly washed baby hair ~when they spend so much time on your lap, it's right at nose level, as opposed to them being taller than you, you hope your own hair is the one that smells freshly clean
walking, holding their little fingers ~ their fingers aren't so little anymore
8:00pm bedtimes ~ it's been a long time
Holding her in my arms ~ verses being 'hung' on by the boys
Naps ~ just because
Arthur, Dora the Explorer, Blues Clues ~ any reason to watch something other than sports
Gotcha DAY! That moment in which I am standing there, holding my breath waiting, watching, wanting to be the first to see her, knowing in that moment that our lives will be changed forever!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Praying for California

Hitting a little too close to home...my thoughts and prayers are going to all those individuals who are feeling the devastation of the wildfires burning in Southern California.

My mom received a call yesterday from my brother and his wife, informing us that they were subject to mandatory evacuations (they live in San Diego) as the wildfires were too close for comfort to their home. A trail nearby their house that they used to frequent on their bikes, the homes along that trail suffered the ravaging flames of these current fires. It is my understanding that my brother is back at home now, but who knows if they are even out of the clear.

Praying for RAIN!!!

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Restore my Joy!

We've all had them. Times in our lives when we receive a word, gift or something at just the right moment to lift our spirits or even cheer us on.
The other day I was talking with another homeschooling mom about the day to day grind and she was telling me how last year she spent a lot of time in frustration, confusion & even anger when a friend of hers said,"you've lost your joy, I will pray you will find it to the fullest."

Wow! I mean I can't really say that I was experiencing that ~ losing my joy~ but I could see that maybe I just wasn't experiencing it to the fullest myself. The very next day I got a letter in the mail from Ransomed Heart Ministries and can you guess what the topic of the letter was??? JOY!
"Okay Lord, you must be wanting to say something to me."

Since it was so good, here is a little excerpt from that letter:
"Anyhow, I begin to realize that what I've done for most of my life is resign myself to this idea: I'm really not going to have any lasting joy. And from that resignation gone on to try and find what I could have. Now to be fair, joy isn't exactly falling from the sky these days. We don't go out to gather it each morning like manna. It's hard to come by. Joy seems more elusive than winning the lottery. We don't like to think about it much, because it hurts to allow ourselves to feel how much we long for joy, and how seldom it drops by.

But joy IS the point. I know it is. God says that joy is our strength: "The joy of the Lord is your strength" (Nehemiah 8:10). I think, My strength!? I don't even think of it as my occasional boost. But yes, now that I give it some thouht, I can see that when I have felt joy I have felt more alive than any other time in my life. Pull up a memory of one of your best moments. The day at the beach. You're eighth birthday, Remember what you felt like. Now -- think what life would be like if you felt like that on a regular basis. Maybe that's what being strengthened by joy feels like. It would be good.

I take up a concordance, and begin to read a bit on joy. "My heart leaps with joy" (Psalms 28:7). When was the last time my heart leapt with joy? I don't even remember. "You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound" (Psalms 4:7) I believe him. I believe God does this. I just can't say I really know firsthand what he's talking about. I turn to the Gospels. What does Jesus have to say about joy? "I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete" (John 15:11). "Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and your will receive, and your joy will be complete" (John 16:24).

Joy complete? The full measure of his joy? That's what he wants for us?!! I'm almost stunned. I can't believe it's come down to joy. It's so obvious now, and yet, it makes me really uncomfortable. Joy is such a tender thing, I think we resent it. We avoid it, because it feels too vulnerable to allow ourselves to admit the joy we long for but do not have. But I know this -- I know we were meant for joy, and I know I can't continue to live with only occasional sips of it. I found myself praying, Jesus, I have no idea where to go from here. But I invite you in. Bring me all the joy you have for me. Help me to see it when it comes. Help me not resign myself to surviving. Restore my joy.